Monday 23 February 2004
Klingon Software Quality Assurance
Via Matthew Nolton:
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!!
- This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code.
- You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.
- Indentation?! I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
- What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software escapes, leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake!
- Klingon function calls do not have "parameters" - they have "arguments"- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
- Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
- I have challenged the entire Quality Assurance team to a Bat-Leh contest! They will not concern us again.
- A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code.
- By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
- You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
A little research suggests that this is quite old; Jim Eshelman of Windows Support Center seems to have had the Klingon Code up on his site since July 2000 and searching Google reveals some entries in the original Klingon - at least, I think it is meant to be Klingon.
Still, it is a nice bit of humor though I would be interested in tracing its origin.
Update: Earliest date I could find for this Klingon Joke was 15 June 1999